Pride & Prejudice

Here at Joico, we strive to live in a place of love and inclusion all year long. But Pride Month gives us the opportunity to shine a spotlight on the beautiful voices in our industry; and their commitment to living a life of freedom and authenticity every single day. Today, we hand the metaphorical mic over to Joico Guest Artist, Ailynn Nguyen, who shares her inspirational journey of taking risks, being vulnerable, and ultimately, celebrating truth, beauty, and success.

“I grew up in Massachusetts. My mom is Vietnamese and Mexican; my dad is Vietnamese. As a minority, I’ve always experienced prejudice; it dates back to childhood and looking different. I would literally get teased for having Asian eyes or a flat face. But I’ve grown to let what makes me different become one of my favorite parts about myself.

When I was 13, my mom – a corporate design-planner – began going to beauty school at night, then left her job to open her own hair salon. She wanted to venture out and try something different; so I grew up watching somebody take big risks and pivot.

I worked in my family’s Joico-focused salon as a teenager, and other salons during college; but in senior year, I actually opened my own 650-square-foot space with four chairs, called Secret Grotto Salon. It was really cute, but a true hole in the wall. I was blessed to do well right away, working really hard – seven days a week – and putting everything I could into it. Because I wanted to create a safe space that was LGBTQ+ friendly, I made the decision to come out shortly after I opened my business. Nothing crazy, mind you. It was sort of a “soft launch” — I just posted a picture on social media of my partner and me holding hands with the caption, Love is Love.

Social media is so powerful. Despite my swift success, the salon became the first place I experienced prejudice for being gay. I’ll never forget it. It actually happened around Pride Month. I had closed the salon that day for a crew of young girls who were getting ready for prom night. The vibe was exciting and everyone was happy and having fun. Like a scene out of a movie, a long-time regular client of mine walked in the door; and by the look on her face, I immediately knew that something was bothering her. She began to speak….“I saw some things online recently, and was talking to other clients in town, and I just want you to know that there are a lot of people who can’t support your business any more due to the way you’re choosing to live your life.”

I have a pretty good poker face and I managed not to let my jaw drop. Her words brought me back to my childhood, when I was being called out for who I was and something I couldn’t change. I asked her to elaborate. She was honest. Unfiltered. She said: “You know. The picture of you holding that girl’s hand, and WHATEVER. You’re a beautiful woman and I still want to come support you, but I think you need to keep part of your life private; don’t post any of that.”

When I was little, moments like this would have made me cry. But I didn’t. I wasn’t even angry. I just accepted that this is the honest truth of what being queer is. And so, I took a deep breath and began to speak. “I appreciate your transparency. You mentioned that you felt compelled to tell me what other clients think about my choices, and this would be my message for you and for them: I want you to know that being queer and coming out as a lesbian is not a choice. I realize you don’t know this about me because this is the first time I’ve been open about it, but I’ve always been queer; and it disheartens me that this type of hate and prejudice still exists. So with everything you’ve just said, please know that your support and patronage is not something I need at this business.”

Her eyes widened. And I continued. “This mindset is exactly the reason I stayed closeted for so long. One of the most magical things about being a hairdresser is making connections. And in the same way that everyone else is able to come in here and tell me about their love life, I deserve to have a space where I can speak freely and be my authentic self.”

She literally had no words. She just turned and left.

I never again saw those clients that she cautioned me about. But I did see her — a year later when she came in demanding a haircut without an appointment. I couldn’t take her in that moment and she ended up storming out.

This month is the eight-year anniversary of my salon, now a space that’s just shy of 3,000 square feet. My partner, whom I’m marrying, is Italian; and in Italian, grotto means cave. My salon really is a cave – a magical, safe place with rainbows everywhere. Big ones, little ones…on the door, on the walls, on my social media, on my booking app. They have a message and a purpose. That pivotal day, I chose to be professional, and yet I honored myself and my business.”